i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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