Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize