Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
