I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
