in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
