wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Come share oat with me in your robe
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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