The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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