i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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