is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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