I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We were destined to go to rehab together
So much rum. So many feels.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
