How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
