I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
