We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
