im about as happy as oj after his trial
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize