how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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