Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
