Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
