On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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