oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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