WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
