How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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