We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
