What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
