whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just gift wrapped bread.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
