Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You pole danced in your parka.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
