so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
They have beer where we have blood.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
