How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
