My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
