That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize