so that wasnt chicken after all
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
