I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
