the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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