im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I cut my penus on the lid.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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