and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Farmville is her only friend.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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