She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
