I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
