I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
