Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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