i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
