O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
