I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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