I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
