hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
