omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
