His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
