Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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