All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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