I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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