it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
