I got chris browned last night
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Randomize
