Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
