You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
my shit smells like andre
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
