he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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