that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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