You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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