Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(904): View more from Florida

I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool

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(904): I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool http://tfl.nu/7zbx

Replies (19) Good night (703) Bad night (5545)
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(678): View more from Georgia

part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic

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(678): part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic http://tfl.nu/3j2g

Replies (18) Good night (753) Bad night (3195)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....

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(803): The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german.... http://tfl.nu/l2d8

Replies (42) Good night (13076) Bad night (1137)
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(816): View more from Missouri

Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!

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(816): Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?! http://tfl.nu/jlrn

Replies (32) Good night (751) Bad night (6087)
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(775): View more from Nevada

You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.

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(775): You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape. http://tfl.nu/xad4

Replies (33) Good night (5130) Bad night (1127)
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(812): View more from Indiana

Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.

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(812): Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was. http://tfl.nu/nuhx

Replies (28) Good night (8743) Bad night (832)
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(647): View more from Ontario

Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville

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(647): Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville http://tfl.nu/omyo

Replies (13) Good night (3182) Bad night (1092)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.

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(401): I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver. http://tfl.nu/132c

Replies (21) Good night (6188) Bad night (1416)
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(519): View more from Ontario

ambylanc

(1-519): View more from Ontario

what?

(519): View more from Ontario

there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.

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(519): ambylanc (1-519): what? (519): there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it. http://tfl.nu/lrq4

Replies (8) Good night (3015) Bad night (1410)
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(569): View more from

we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh

(784): View more from St. Vincent/Grenadines

it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.

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(569): we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh (784): it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here. http://tfl.nu/bl8m

Replies (0) Good night (1050) Bad night (349)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup

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(715): Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup http://tfl.nu/az6p

Replies (3) Good night (1568) Bad night (758)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night

(212): View more from New York

Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate

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(908): My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night (212): Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate http://tfl.nu/bmji

Replies (4) Good night (1361) Bad night (470)
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(971): View more from Oregon

Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account

(971): View more from Oregon

It could happen to you too!

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(971): Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account (971): It could happen to you too! http://tfl.nu/bwgy

Replies (11) Good night (1744) Bad night (340)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.

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(+44): Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss. http://tfl.nu/34xm

Replies (1) Good night (503) Bad night (972)
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(425): View more from Washington

You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.

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(425): You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five. http://tfl.nu/8p92

Replies (1) Good night (476) Bad night (132)

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