Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.

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  (513): you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that. http://tfl.nu/6e0s
  Replies (11) Good night (800) Bad night (4611)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I threw up into my coffee this morning.

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  (218): I threw up into my coffee this morning. http://tfl.nu/fytz
  Replies (10) Good night (952) Bad night (5123)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?

  (804): View more from Virginia

  who says it cant be both...

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  (757): im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever? (804): who says it cant be both... http://tfl.nu/wstu
  Replies (50) Good night (6888) Bad night (770)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.

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  (757): I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home. http://tfl.nu/lnz2
  Replies (23) Good night (1203) Bad night (5739)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.

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  (541): Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid. http://tfl.nu/2ym3
  Replies (25) Good night (7690) Bad night (1037)
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  (914): View more from New York

  something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..

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  (914): something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined.. http://tfl.nu/wloj
  Replies (13) Good night (921) Bad night (5075)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after

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  (412): Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after http://tfl.nu/0llh
  Replies (11) Good night (4703) Bad night (1026)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"

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  (215): I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!" http://tfl.nu/0rpe
  Replies (19) Good night (2521) Bad night (726)
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  (607): View more from New York

  To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.

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  (607): To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail. http://tfl.nu/vfu4
  Replies (5) Good night (1616) Bad night (672)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.

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  (402): She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party. http://tfl.nu/tru3
  Replies (7) Good night (1951) Bad night (579)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.

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  (603): He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring. http://tfl.nu/jkgq
  Replies (7) Good night (768) Bad night (1263)
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  (646): View more from New York

  The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help

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  (646): The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help http://tfl.nu/rosq
  Replies (6) Good night (537) Bad night (1107)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.

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  (513): he just exposed your dildo usage to the table. http://tfl.nu/zocu
  Replies (2) Good night (385) Bad night (320)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS

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  (719): YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS http://tfl.nu/s3ez
  Replies (1) Good night (468) Bad night (203)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.

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  (815): I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home. http://tfl.nu/56vm
  Replies (0) Good night (214) Bad night (83)

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