Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
