I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
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But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
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Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind