im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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