I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.